Dear TD -
So apparently the drama does not end with increasing age. It continues to amaze me how much ridiculous bs people engage in through their 30's. What is it about such drama that keeps people detached from honesty? Is it simply the thrill of the unexpected, the novelty of new experiences, the rush of doing something one shouldn't be doing? Or is it simply that people just don't care enough anymore to be honest, with themselves or with other people?
It all makes me wonder how many people out there are truly living honest lives and how many are living one side of life wearing masks and pretending to be someone they are not. Obviously, it raises the issue of trust.
Trust has always been an issue for me. There was a time when I trusted others far too easily and far too quickly. It is inherently in my nature to believe the best about people, to trust that everyone has a good heart and that goodness lies somewhere within us all. The past decade has threatened my beliefs time and time again. And yet still I struggle: to trust or not to trust. Life can't be fully lived and enjoyed without trusting others and yet there is always a fine line that exists between protecting myself and opening myself up to others.
There have been times when I have felt that trust is simply impossible. During these times, I typically close myself off from others. I build barriers around my heart and remain detached, all in an attempt at self-preservation and the hope that I will not be disappointed and hurt yet again. Cynicism taints my perspective, and I don't like losing that positive, rose-colored glasses, outlook on life. But I suppose cynicism has its advantages at times.
On that note, I'm off to have a hopefully not-so-cynical day despite my tendency to the contrary.
-TD
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